Wednesday, January 19, 2011 at 5 pm ish, I seriously wanted to quit the gym. I felt fat. lol. and just mad that my workout was beating the crap out of me. It was something wild and crazy that my trainer decided to do because he felt like the women were not working as hard as we should be. It was an ab workout. I don't have abs! Which is what I say whenever we have "ab" work. It didn't work. Worse part I didn't eat enough that day for what we were doing. Knew it the minute I started lifting that 10 lb bench weight up to shoulder length. Needless to say when I started doing my jump squats the last exercise with the watchful eye of the trainer, one of the guys who talks much noise to me came over to me. PAUSE! When I'm getting funky, sweaty and grinding in the gym don't flirt with me if you're a) married or b) not attractive to me. Cause I'll play you to the left if I don't feel like entertaining you. And if you loud and do it in front of other people I am not liable for the sarcasm or crass language that ensues. Nor do I find that attractive. PLAY! He was trying to be encouraging but I was watching him watch me and my trainer watch us. I'll skip the part right here... lol
After all the ab work 50 minutes worth we had to do 400 Rope jumps-jump ropes however you picture it. I was exhausted like I hadn't been in weeks. I was mad that it was taking me so long, mad that I was out of shape. (In better shape than I was though) And I really went through some body image mental wars trying to get those 400 jumps. At 150 my breath was short. I felt flabby and imagined that other people thought I was flabby.( not the case, others think I'm a hottie lol) But at 200 I wanted to quit. I wanted to put down the rope and just not come back to the gym. Irrational I know. But I was tired. Tired of seemingly being slower when I should be faster. Tired of trying to get it done when its clearly doing me in. But I went back the next day.
It's Saturday and my torso is still achy. I'm having to keep a bra on all day (t m i) because that muscle back there behind that breast tissue that I didn't know existed aches without that support. But my torso feels tight and I'm still in it to win it. I'm down 18 lbs.