Friday, December 31, 2010

Random #6: Endings, Beginnings

So, this is that end of the year wrap up post.

I'm still wondering how I will bring in the new year.  I'd said meditating and thanking God.  So, we will see how it all turns out. I feel good today, just as I did yesterday.

Thinking about this year and all the ups, downs, accomplishments, failures even, I'm grateful. I lost my great gran this year but I'm blessed in that I knew her. That I was able to share love with her. I lost a few church family members as well and it's always hard for me. Losing loves. 

I've been reading other blog entries tonight getting enthused, just taking in everyone's journey. I'm even surprised at myself for blogging. I normally stray from it. But it's relaxing and it makes me think and gather my thoughts more.

I am already doing things now that I plan to take into 2011 like working out, loving my chosen career, laughing more, smiling more, just enjoying more but I can always use more self work.  I made goals in September actually that I am to complete by September of next year... it's a slow process but it's going.  I've decided however that I want to venture into the pesce- pollotarian world of eating. I'm still researching it, still deciding. Not in a rush. I have some new challenges however that I will be undertaking however for either a month, two, six or the whole year.  All of which begin January 1 or at some point in January.

You can check them out too:

Healthy Hair in 2011 Challenge:http://moptopmaven.blogspot.com/2010/12/healthy-hair-in-2011-challenege-session.html  It's actually a six month challenge. Well the first session. I needed this simply to baby my tresses. I'm a natural hair rocking sistah lol whose all for healthy hair whether its natural, relaxed or in between. I'll do an update with pics about this real soon.  This starts Jan1

Post a Week:  http://en.blog.wordpress.com/2010/12/30/challenge-for-2011-want-to-blog-more-often/ A challenge via Word Press.  It would be ambitious of me to do the Post a Day but it would also be a complete setup to fail because I know what I do.  This is for all of 2011

Reset Your Life 2011: http://happyblackwoman.com/ Undertaking this with the intent to open doors within myself.  Month of January.

Beginner Yoga: http://21daychallenge.yogajournal.com/ I've been fascinated with yoga for a while but haven't ever done anything but think about it and fantasize about it.  I believe it's because of what I thought it represented. But you make yoga your own. I want to practice it for the centering benefits.  For me time to meditate and talk to God while strengthening my temple.  Starts January 10th.

Writing Project: Some time ago, like 2007 a friend of mine came to me with an idea about writing some poetry for stories she wrote and I haven't finished yet. Life intervenes. But, I'm taking January and February to get this done. I already have all the stories downloaded to my Ipad for my own personal convenience so I can get it done. I need definite deadlines with some things because in all honesty of self knowledge, I'm a procrastinator. Regardless of how much I work on it, I postpone the working on not procrastination with other things as well. 

I'd been trying to think of a theme for 2011 and I finally have it. My Theme Song for 2011 is Beautiful Day by India Arie. Which its my song right now but it reminds me to just be in the moment. Stop regretting choices I've made and count that stuff joy. lol. My theme phrase/word: Dynamic.  All that I do I want it to be dynamic. How I love, how I live, how I do, how I "be".

So, as it is my 2 week Christmas Break will be coming to an end on January 3rd but I must say it has been all that I intended it to be. I love that, I'm grateful for that and I'm thankful that I put the time to good use. My sanctuary got a complete, I'll say, overhaul with the declutter project but also me moving furniture around to change the energy of my place. It worked wonders. It's welcoming now to me and whoever else enters. And it feels like home.

I'll end with this. 2010 is ending, but that feeling that you have of freedom to accomplish all the dreams your stating for yourself next year shows that it's only the beginning.

Live. Love. Laugh.

I will post once a week in 2011!

I’ve decided I want to blog more. Rather than just thinking about doing it, I’m starting right now. I will be posting on this blog once a day / once a week for all of 2011.

I know it won’t be easy, but it might be fun, inspiring, awesome and wonderful. Therefore I’m promising to make use of The DailyPost, and the community of other bloggers with similiar goals, to help me along the way, including asking for help when I need it and encouraging others when I can.

If you already read my blog, I hope you’ll encourage me with comments and likes, and good will along the way.

Signed,

B flyy :-)

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Random #5: declutter still in action

Update:

I had that serious dejunking last week.  But where were the things I'd boxed and bagged up to leave my sanctuary? Still here.  Well, they were until about 5:30 today.  I donated them to Goodwill. I felt so good getting them out of the house. Felt good really freeing myself from those items.  The paper portion however is still here waiting on me to make it all the way through. lol. I am half way through and in some instances ready to just trash things without looking through them. I don't know what's there.  But I won't rush it. I'm experiencing the process to the fullest capacity. Knowing that when I'm done, it's going to feel wonderful.

The books are still in a bin in the closet because I haven't decided if I'm going to sell those or just give them away....

We will see.

Random #4: mama's girl, acceptance, and other things

sometimes family will deter your dreams. or they will push you harder to achieve them.

I'm sure some of you have already come to this grand conclusion. But I realized this during my time off. After visiting my family and just observing what was happening, I was amazed by how removed I was from it all. Disturbed as well. I am iffy on the family bonding thing. Why? If it messes with my flow, I can't be a part of it. Which probably upsets everyone else.  I realized during a visit it was messing with my thinking, messing with the peace I was trying to achieve.  Knowing that I was in a place of not wanting to talk even during the holidays, being around people wasn't really a good thing.  I have a knack for saying things that lead to troublesome consequences. This Christmas holiday was no different. Except this time it led to some confrontation with my mom, which led to her throwing negatives vibes on me. I love my mom. I really do and after I shed my tears and wiped my face I had a moment of clarity:  I have to accept people wherever they are in their lives.

For one, where I am in my life has no direct bearing on what someone else is doing. I just get annoyed with others trying to press their issues on me. I can't deal, because I don't have to or want to.  I stress myself out enough without help.  What does all this have to do with family and dreams, goals etc.  let's see:  Usually a confrontation with my mom is going to end somewhere with these types of phrases: You're selfish. If you don't benefit from it, you can't be bothered. You're priorities are in the wrong place.  You act like you can't miss going to the gym. Now being that I'm close to my mom and have felt for the longest time she's all I have in the world, after God, these comments would always leave me confused and feeling horrible. Why? Because, I was internalizing all that negative bs. Thinking that everyone saw me that way because my mama saw me that way.  Through growth i know it hurt me because it came from my mama. My daddy wouldn't talk to me that way and my siblings are as supportive as the place they are in their own lives allows them to be.

But I think a switch clicked or something because I began to flip these phrases in my head as I began to see, my mama loves me dearly, but she's in a different place than I am right now. Where she is has her in that type of mind frame and where I am isn't there. I have been a complainer, a negative inflicter in the past, but I'm not there anymore and refuse to let other people take me there.  Am I completely over getting into with my mom, yes lol. Why waste time fretting over it? it's already happened. Was everything said that needed to be said. Apparently so.

It served it's purpose. My eyes are wide open.

Random #3: project me

Today I redid my vision board. Gave it more order. More functionality. More purpose. Haven't decided yet whether I want to post a picture or not. Not sure I want to be that vulnerable to people I don't know. But there will be several post following this one later tonight and probably tomorrow as there are several topics I want to discuss, put my spin on, and just share my thoughts on. One of the biggest ideas, goals I have for myself is to live in love. I've been off two weeks, dissecting, purging, thinking and consuming and I ended with that. Living in love. Doing things in love. Regardless of what it may be, doing it with love. So, we shall see what that will produce.

Friday, December 24, 2010

Random #2: Declutter : Action

For the past 4 days, I was on a mission to declutter my space. It started I think after I read some blogs about yoga and then some blogs about minimalism. I am not a minimalist by any means. I'm researching yoga, because I want to integrate it into my life as part of my meditation time, my prayer time, my God time.

I'm not even sure how I came across the subject of minimalism... not the art style, the lifestyle.  But I liked the idea of only having things I use, cutting down my consumption and also getting rid of things that I don't use, wear, etc.

It could have also started with me re-reading the book "Better Than" by Leslie Esdaile. Which is about a woman doing an overhaul on herself before the new year and it inspires me into action whenever I read it.  Whatever the case is, something struck a chord and got me moving.

So what did I do in the process of 4 days or 3 and 1/2 days:  Change the furniture around in each room to change the flow of energy and it feels welcoming.  I boxed clothes and shoes from my closets and dressers to be given away. I bagged teddy bears to be given away. Sorted through my paper books and kept only the ones that I know I'll read again because I've probably already read them twice or more. I have a bin of books that I'll either be giving away or selling( do i really want to bother with that?)  I went through a bin of paper and had started the file of miscellaneous and important papers. I've tossed so much in the trash, so many things to be shredded. 

What I learned in the process was that I was attached to many of those things for various reasons. Not wanting to get rid of a suit because it belonged to my grandmother. It wasn't even that I could fit the thing, because I couldn't and still can't. It's just the fact that it was hers. The paper trail, I couldn't even remember what was in where if that tells you anything.  When, I began to go through the books, it was more the attachment of "it's a book, you don't get rid of a book". Craziness, I know. Keeping cards because someone sent it to me or gave it to me, some without a personalized message. But I'd packed these things up from my college apt and moved them to my real world apartment for no reason whatsoever.  

I haven't finished completely due to holiday travel. But I'm on the move, so I plan to get it done.  In the upcoming week I plan to do several things: finish that project, search for my year coming motto, start my at home yoga/meditation sessions, start a Healthy Hair in 2011 challenge with this Flyy Sistah here http://www.moptopmaven.blogspot.com/ ,read feeds, read period and just enjoy being. 

So to all, Happy Holidays.  Take Care and Be Safe.

Live. Love. Laugh.