Nappiology: Updos and Updates

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To the right, that has become me as of late. As  I tweak my regimen, I realize that right now with the cold winds and all that jazz, the updos are working for me. Today, I cut/trimmed some hair and due to just extra dry ends.

That's one of the harder parts of retaining length for me. Keeping my hair moisturized properly.  But, I'm working on it. I'm getting it done. I do realize that the harsh winds did push me into trying new hairstyles which is something that I wanted to do this year anyway.  Healthy hair is my goal. Still trying to stay the course with Moptop Maven and also Curly Nikki's grow out challenge. I still love SheaMoisture's Curl Enhancing Smoothie on my twists.  I used the Organic Yucca & Boabab Thickening Moisture Mist tonight.  Hair isn't thin or fine but I love how it smells.

Post A Week 2011: Topic #56

What keeps you up at night?

A plethora of things can keep me up:  reading a good book, stress about stress, restlessness over decisions, crazy productivity due to energy or determination to get something done, bouts of insomnia which can come about because of all the other reasons I mentioned.  When I was in college, I'd be up due to studying, or weird sleep patterns. But thankfully these kinds of nights are beginning to be few.

31 Day Reset: day 30

 

Today's exercise: Sit down today and make a list of 10 personal commitments that you would like to keep for the following year. Remember, these are serious promises that you are making to yourself in order to live your ideal life. You can make as few or as many as you want (I suggested 10 here for structure), but a list of more than 20 commitments probably becomes unrealistic and unwieldy.

For instance, one of the most powerful personal commitments that I made to myself this year was to distance myself from all the negative people in my life. It was a conscious process that I had to do for myself (and my own mental health) so that I could begin to cultivate a new way of thinking within my own mind and make more progress on my goals.

What are the kinds of personal commitments you can make to yourself that will completely transform the way you live your life not just in the year ahead, but in the years ahead? Watch this video if you need a bit of inspiration 

My 10:

1. Take risks even when I'm unsure of the outcome.


2. Be open to love from others.


3. Make time for getting healthy (spiritually, mentally, emotionally, physically)


4. Take more action and less planning to start


5. Be more financially responsible.


6. Live with love, passion and purpose.


7. Be committed to what I set out to do.


8. Be more accepting of where I am and where others are in their lives.


9. Make time daily to nurture me.


10. Be open to new. ie, ideas, people, places, emotions, feelings

The Power of Inspiration

Recently, I finally made it through 200 + posts on feedler.  I hadn't checked it, because I was busy, I was tired, I just was.  But I made it to this post You Don't Need Any More Advice and it made me stop, pause, copy and paste lol and create a word doc to keep with me.  The gist of it was to simply take action.

• Stop reading books about it


• Stop reading blogs about it


• Stop talking about it


• Stop thinking about it


• Stop analyzing it


• Stop asking people about it

And it got me moving, got my wheels spinning. And they have been spinning ever since; which is why I'm actually getting posts done today. lol. I'm loving the state of productivity right now. I needed this. I can think a dream into non-existence sometimes without provocation. Can think about it so much that I don't ever actually get started on it and well I had to lay that notion to the side. Return of the mojo and I love it!

Reset Day 29:Let go of the Past

Today’s exercise consists of three parts, and they are all equally important to the process of letting go of negative events and experiences from the past.

Step 1: Acknowledgement

Go grab your reset notebook and write down all the things that you’re still holding onto from the past year (or even the past 30 years!). The timeframe is up to you. Your list should include bad experiences, failed relationships, arguments with friends and family, people who hurt you, situations you regret, jobs you got fired from, etc. If you want to go back more than a year, you can also include situations from your childhood, people you still have hold grudges against from high school, etc.

Step 2: Affirmation

For each item on your list, find a way to achieve closure, even if it is a small amount of relief. Think of an affirmation or personal mantra you can apply to the past event that will remove the painful or negative aspect of it and allow you to move on. You can either write them down in your notebook or say them out loud as you go down each item on the list.

Here is an example from my own life:

Past event: A painful breakup with a man that I thought would be my husband.

Affirmation: I’m glad things happened the way they did. When we broke up, I finally became committed to living an authentic life and pursuing what really made me happy. Thank you for letting me go. I can appreciate it now. I am grateful and free.

Step 3: Absolution

Now, you’re going to destroy your entire list. Tear the page(s) out of your notebook and do the following (and this is very important):

Burn it.

I did this. The best part of it was actually burning the list. Which I didn't go outside. I lit it up in my parents kitchen and then watched the process of paper burning.  Saw how some of the flames were still reaching for any part they could catch to burn even after the paper had burned. I found that interesting too.  Oddly when I wrote my list, I realized how good a year I had actually had. My list was quite short. I had four things on it. FOUR!!!

I was surprised that I hadn't put down that I'd ended a friendship with someone who I'd been friends with for years, that another fell through before it could really flourish into anything. I didn't even write about the strain in the relationship I had with my older sister.  I was glad  then.  Glad to see that those things weren't an issue.  That I'd left those things where they needed to be. Gone.

And the four that I wrote down...3 were dealing with men lol. The other my job.  I had a stressful first full year teaching. It seemed everything I did was wrong and it was just rough dealings.  So, I didn't enjoy what I did.  But in August, that actually changed... I poured more love into what I do, into teaching and growing wonderfully bright children. And it was amazing.  My 2nd full year has been my best teaching year so far and I love what I do, I love my "borrowed" little ones and they love me.

With the men, I realized that I gave too much energy to one and the other I didn't give hardly any to.  But I wrote affirmations and burned those sinking ships.  And it's been better dealings with both of those people since.

 

Reset Day 28: Write a Love Letter to 2010

 

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Dear 2010,

This is what I loved about you:

Oddly as I start to write this the first question as me mentally stuttering. Trying to figure out what actually happened in 2010.  That in itself makes me want to do better with my awareness. My memory at times is not the best. What personal growth milestones did you achieve in 2010? I lost some loved ones in 2010, but I'm thankful that I was able to be appreciative of the time, the love, the moments we had instead of going completely into depression as I have want to do.  I decided to recommit to working out and getting my finances together. I began the ultimate restoration project on myself in late 2010, but such a good time to do it. I also learn to let some things go, let some people go and just go on with life. What professional accomplishments made you most proud in 2010? I completed LATAAP, which is a teacher certification program for Louisiana.  So, I'm certified and highly qualified to teach! I survived (barely) my first summer of not working.  It was really hard.  I even contemplating moving for a spell. What were your favorite experiences with friends and/or romantic partners this year? - One of my closest friends and I found a new niche. We like taking out readers(me, my IPAD; her, her Pandigital) to McAlisters and surfing the web, reading books, and talking.  It started something great.  My friend Eshia and I started having sleepovers where we dance and pillow talk  about life, men, spiritually and everything else under the sun, the moon and the rug.  Angela and I went to see The Color Purple off Broadway play at the Civic Center and I just loved it. I was glowing before, during and after. That's my favorite movie! So, that was just an over the top enthuse your soul experience right there. As far as romantic partners 2010 taught me to go with the flow and no regrets. Because well, those are a waste of mind space anyway.  lol.  I'm still single but I loved that about 2010, because I began to see much about me and I appreciate it. What was your favorite family moment from 2010? Watching my nephews during my church convention week. They are tiny and so different.  Also, just spending time with my immediate family more in 2010 was just good.  Seeing my aunt Lynn in August was just grand for me. I love her to pieces.  There are so many moments. Polishing nails with my little sister. Trading barbs (jokingly) with my mom. Holding hands with my granddaddy.  Evading boyfriend questions from my dad. Seeing my brother's joy about living return. Knowing that my little brother is hooked on video games.  Great things. What was the best book/album/movie/restaurant/city/country/etc you discovered in 2010? The best book for 2010 Wow!!! I read so much...ummm Recipe for Temptation by Maureen Smith.  Best Re-Read: Better Than by Leslie Esdaile, Best Album: It's On Tonight by Brian Culbertson, Best Movie: Don't remember any that I saw so that couldn't have been that good. Best Play: Tyler Perry's Madea's Big Happy Family.  I didn't travel as much as I did in 2009... But I fell in small love with Baton Rouge in 2010.

So in spite of some downs I had, with all this good I'm grateful. Ever thankful to you 2010.

Appreciatively,

Ms. J

The Power of Procrastination

Source

 

Oh, I had it all planned out yesterday. I was going to celebrate my singledom, by going out with one of my girlfriends. I was going to do several posts that I'd been intending to do for about a week now. And what did I do?  None of that. lol. I was sleep before 10 p.m. I put in an order for a new laptop, that I'm going to call Sassy, watched a show via netflix called Drop Dead Diva... the second episode was getting on my nerves at jump, so I got my laptop, got in the bed and started to read. And fell asleep. I woke up at 1 a.m. But today, I said it was as it needed to be.  I'm a procrastinator in the sense that often I need some type of motivation to do small things.  Because I will put it off until it can't be put off any longer.  Like sit for 30 minutes and make a post, or even to toss out some papers that I should have gotten rid of a month or so ago.  Sometimes I'm lazy and I know it, just haven't changed it.  And that's all I'm going to say about that. I could lie and say I'm going to change it, but well, I'll put that off too.

Post a week 2011: share one thing that you learned recently

I learned that sometimes its okay to do nothing especially when you're trying to do too much. It's like having so much on your plate that you don't know where to dig in first.

JumpRope Memoirs: Self- Esteem Dream

Source

So... my thoughts have been inundated with self-appreciation at all levels.  The concept that regardless of size I have to make the best effort to treat myself well. The Evolution of Me project that I'm allowing to totally transform my life now is out of love for myself.  It's hard.  I won't even lie about that.  It's hard knowing that I'm going to fail often before I succeed. It's hard knowing that some people expect me to have a low view of myself because of weight. But I don't. A low self-esteem even. But I don't.  I don't however like when other people try to make me feel bad about it though. That's annoying. Some even assume I'm not taking care of myself because I'm fresh to death on that "heavy status".  Insert eye roll here. I work out hard, heavy, and intensely when I do. Because I want it to count. I've even *crossing my fingers* got a handle on mindless munching.  It's beyond irritating when some men think I should be glad that they are paying me attention.  Heck, he should be glad I was actually present in the moment, to notice he was paying me attention. But that could be a rant for another day and time.

Funny thing today I feel like I could be a writer. I'm not though. Just like I can sing, but I'm not a performer. I love to play with words, to put them together and make a coherent written thought. Even if it's vague.

For this week, for yoga I've just been practicing breathing.  Being conscious of the breath.  Meditating for a few moments in the morning.

Workouts: I almost didn't work out yesterday. Not because I was tired. Not because I was sore. My workout partner didn't want to.  But I did workout. I worked out because a friend from the summer morning crew was there to put me on blast. It just reminded me that I do it for me. If I had missed, I'd feel bad today knowing that school is dismissing early for a snow day and I may not get a chance to go to the gym.  I even want to go today because we're doing punches lol. My lesson in that: I can only expect me to go and work. Because my partner may decide she doesn't want to at all. I can't use that as an excuse to derail myself.

31 Day Reset: Days 23, 24, 25, 26, and 27

Day 23: Exercise- Find a Community to Support Your Goals Today’s exercise requires you to explore different groups that you could join as part of your personal development journey. One thing you might do is to take a look at your Reset Project and think about what communities could support you in those specific goals.

What I did for this exercise was joined some groups on Sparkpeople.com that cater to some of the goals I have.  I also liked the Happy Black Woman and Black Girl's Guide to Weightloss groups on Facebook.  I tried looking on meetup.com for groups and came up with nada for my area.

Day 24: Ask for Help or Offer Help.

I chose to ask someone for help.  There's a lady who I correspond with who lost a lot of weight eating right and moving. I asked for help with eating. I don't have a problem moving, but something's not right with the food.  We are trying to get to sync our schedules together show she can help me with meal planning.

Day 25: Stop Complaining For 24 hours.

I laughed at myself with this one.  Because the morning of this exercise when I was reading my feedler, I made a comment about LeBron James head.  Which I think I didn't have so much an issue of complaining this day as I had pointing out obvious things to other poeple.  So, I need to work on that.  Not saying things just because I think about them.  Opinion isn't always wanted.

Day 26:  Reflect, Comment, and Connect

• What was the most important thing you learned about yourself this week?  That I am easily sidetracked. I get into "rest mode" mentality and I get stuck.


• What has been your favorite exercise so far? What did you like about it? Planning the Reset Project.  I liked that I actually put it on paper, so I know what I need to do to get it rolling.


• Which exercise did you struggle with the most and why? Purging negative people from my life and social communities.  I'm not finished with it yet.  Looking at 1108 is daunting.  So, I'm taking it "spur of the moment" at a time.

Day 27- Start a Side Hustle

I'm still thinking about what I could use for a side hustle... I could be a book seller, a *cough* sometime singer. I have to research this more. Think about it more.

PostAWeek2011: Topic: Are you an optimist or a pessimist?

Are you an optimist, a pessimist, or something else?

I'm a mixture of both on any given day.  I can "what if" something to death.  Or think something to complete woe-is-me-dome lol.  Yet as of late I've tried to take on the more optimistic view-point in situations I encounter.  Why? It makes me feel better. My ways of thinking about things, how I perceive them is starting to change.  So, if it's something that's going to lead me to not being able to see anything positive about it, except getting myself out of it, then I go with that or I do what I can to change it.

In due time...

Source

Funny thing. I planned to post yesterday. It didn't happen. Just like I've been meaning to finish my 31 day reset.  It didn't happen either.  Sometimes life intervenes and some times I'm just unproductive.  So, I'm doing it now while my students complete their morning activities. This post is an update more or less of what has been going on and what hasn't.

What sparked this bubbling inside of me was a mildly upsetting occurrence with my sorority sisters. I won't go into that. Whatever the case was it was apparently necessary to remind me of what my motto has become for my life.  And I wasn't doing that. I wasn't living that motto. I was about to back down to some foolishness. Which most people who know me, know that's not me. I don't mind necessary confrontation.  But after thinking about my motto: live a life with love, purpose and passion, I nipped that other situation in the bud. I don't like people trying to tamper with my joy.  That's just foul. lol.

Anyway, that led to this other discovery that one of my guy friends we have a beautiful friendship. The love shared there is heavy.  Sigh. Now why would this even be important?  Because we take love: the capacity of it, the ability to share it, the power to accept it: for granted.  And he shows me my ability to willingly give it without expectation.  And as we texted, I could only smile as he engaged me in my randonmess.

The writing collabo project I've actually gotten one poem out for it.  And another poem for something completely different.  And I have til the end of February. I'll get it done.  My creativity is starting to flow again and I'm letting it escape as it wishes.

My yoga practice has been adjusted to a 3 day thing and not an everyday thing.  I'm commitment phobic.  Committing to everyday seemed a bit much as was apparently too much for my schedule at the time. So, the 21 day yoga challenge, was a fail in the sense of practicing everyday, but a success in getting me in to me more.  Making me more in tuned to my body, my breath, and I'll take that.

So, the picture means  that there are changes ahead as I learn me more, as I do me more, as I love me more. And I'm all for it. I think the hardest problem I have is just getting started, but I'm ready.