Post A Week: What tech can't you live without?

What’s one piece of technology you can’t live without?

On first thought: My computer. I use it for so much: Surfing the web, reading, typing lesson plans, syncing my other techie devices. My music is here, my photos...Like a one stop shop lol

JumpRope Memoirs #2: Not even a plateau

What I had going on this week can't even be called a plateau. I worked out seriously once this week.  My yoga practice was even limited to yoga in my bed. Which most times it got me at least up and moving.  But I was real stagnant this week.  There seemed to be an overwhelming demand on my time this week. So much so, that I cut out just about everything that had anything to do with working my body.  It was a busy school week for me.  While I don't feel guilty, thankful for that, that I missed my workouts and ate like food was going out of style, I did realize that I however want that movement that comes with exercising. It's not that I see any results immediately when I'm working out, but the feeling is amazing. I didn't have that this week. And I actually feel heavy. I'm a size positive woman true enough, but I normally don't feel my weight and I felt it this week. So, while this was a week of just not doing anything productive across the board, it did at least remind me that I've got to keep moving. That I've got to keep pursuing my goals. It also showed me that I really don't have a plan.  I think about what I want, but I haven't committed the time to even put in writing the actions I need to take to get me there. So, that's my one thing to do for my body this weekend: Read, think of an action plan, put it on paper.  Not going to stress putting it in to action just yet. I need a foundation first, right? Meal planning back in effect Sunday.

Reset Day 22: Purge Negative People From Your Life

Exercise: Make a list of all the people in your life who bring you down. These are the people you know or hang out with who are major Debbie Downers, who complain all the time and have nothing but bad things to say about other people. They are the cynics and the snarks who have nothing better to do than talk about how much everything sucks – people, work, life in general. This list might include all the folks you ignore when they call, text or email you because, well, just the thought of interacting with them is depressing. Get my drift?

• Friends - I have a limited few of these. Which thankfully they are a good crew.


• Family members - You can't choose your family. lol. But I talk to the ones I want to and the rest I love them from a distance.


• Current or ex-romantic partners - Not Applicable.


• Co-workers or colleagues - I only interact with coworkers that have good attitudes or ones who keep the focus on the good of what's going on.  Why? Because I can get my own self down at work I don't need help.


• Old high school or college buddies- Only have steady contact with one. She's... well she's her.


• Facebook friends - Will begin going through this list. I have 1108 "friends" Probably 600 of them I don't know.


• Twitter followers - Will be deleting followers on here as well and thinking about taking my account back to private.

I'm also becoming more aware of myself if I'm in that down mode, I try my best not to be around anyone for the sake of not ruining anyone else's mood. It works.

Reset Day 21: Ditch TV for 24 hours

Exercise: Need another reason to step away from the boob tube? Well, black women are probably the ones who are most affected by the negative aspects of watching TV, because as an ethnic/gender group, we watch more TV than any other group in the United States. Yes, as in more TV than the average of 5 hours a day! Which may be explain why too many of us are overweight and unhappy when we should be healthy and fulfilled. Let’s stop letting TV take away the time we could be spending on more productive pursuits.

This was like a cheat exercise. lol, since I already don't watch 5 hours of tv a week. Some weeks my tv doesn't come on at all.  I'm a reader, a web searcher. But for some reason on this day I was wanting to watch tv. Was actually going to clean, but didn't because I turn movies on for background noise sometimes.  I ended up ditching online time as well for this day unintentionally. To stave off any late night watching, I went out with a friend and her friends lol and had a blast.

Reset Day 20: Plan Your Reset Project

Exercise: To complete this exercise, you will choose one specific area from your life map to make progress on within the next month. Of course, your reset project will be focused on one of these seven specific areas of your life:

• Lifestyle


• Work


• Education


• Finances


• Health


• Family


• Relationships

How to Structure Your Reset Project

• Brief description of the project: Finances-Better Budgeting Diva


• Why the project was selected: This project will get me closer to my ideal life by giving me freedom with my money.


• Goals: To budget and live by that budget. To get my emergency fund up and running.


• Results: By having an emergency fund open with a deposit and automatic savings activated


• Assistance/advice needed: I need diligence, determination and faith. I am also following some very helpful financial blogs. I also have The Total Money Makeover.


• Obstacles: Unexpected expenses. Overspending.


• Next steps: Monitor my spending to see what cuts I can make.

What About Your Friends?

How do you define the word friend? A friend is a person who knows me. I mean really knows me but still loves me. Or vice versa a person who lets me "see" them and "allows" me to love them anyway.

What are three things you can do to be a better friend to the people in your life?

1. Be available emotionally


2. Give my time physically, mentally


3. Give my love spiritually

It's funny that this happened to be the topic of the day for the Post A Day 2011; Post a Week 2011 challenge.  Because Thursday morning I woke in a funk. I mean straight crappy thinking about not having friends of substance. No limbs to step out on that wouldn't break.  No one to call if there were an emergency and my parents were on the way but not right here and I was quiet the majority of the day. I only talked to 18 - 5 and 6 year olds. I was quiet at the gym. I prayed about whether I needed to be silent and therefore I was.  Because I was hurt. I felt used.  And I don't like to feel used by people. I try to avoid situations where it seems I might end up using someone and I don't like to see others used.  I cried about this.  Because I felt that I wasn't as important to my friends as I make them to be to me.

All this because a friend didn't text me back or call me back.  For like the umpteenth time.  But I processed it, I let it be what it was and I was good on Friday.  Because the reality is everyone does their thing. Even me.  I can only control me. I'm not doormat material, so I'll be good to my people and when it's not reciprocated, I'll give them their time to do what it is they do and I'll go on and do me.

JumpRope Memoirs #1: Quitting lol

Wednesday, January 19, 2011 at 5 pm ish, I seriously wanted to quit the gym.  I felt fat. lol. and just mad that my workout was beating the crap out of me.  It was something wild and crazy that my trainer decided to do because he felt like the women were not working as hard as we should be.  It was an ab workout. I don't have abs! Which is what I say whenever we have "ab" work.  It didn't work.  Worse part I didn't eat enough that day for what we were doing. Knew it the minute I started lifting that 10 lb bench weight up to shoulder length.  Needless to say when I started doing my jump squats the last exercise with the watchful eye of the trainer, one of the guys who talks much noise to me came over to me. PAUSE! When I'm getting funky, sweaty and grinding in the gym don't flirt with me if you're a) married or b) not attractive to me. Cause I'll play you to the left if I don't feel like entertaining you.  And if you loud and do it in front of other people I am not liable for the sarcasm or crass language that ensues. Nor do I find that attractive. PLAY! He was trying to be encouraging but I was watching him watch me and my trainer watch us.  I'll skip the part right here... lol

After all the ab work 50 minutes worth we had to do 400 Rope jumps-jump ropes however you picture it.  I was exhausted like I hadn't been in weeks.  I was mad that it was taking me so long, mad that I was out of shape. (In better shape than I was though) And I really went through some body image mental wars trying to get those 400 jumps. At 150 my breath was short. I felt flabby and imagined that other people thought I was flabby.( not the case, others think I'm a hottie lol) But at 200 I wanted to quit. I wanted to put down the rope and just not come back to the gym. Irrational I know.  But I was tired. Tired of seemingly being slower when I should be faster. Tired of trying to get it done when its clearly doing me in.  But I went back the next day.

It's Saturday and my torso is still achy.  I'm having to keep a bra on all day (t m i) because that muscle back there behind that breast tissue that I didn't know existed aches without that support.  But my torso feels tight and I'm still in it to win it. I'm down 18 lbs.

Reset Day 19: Get Rid of Stuff You Don't Need

Exercise: Go through your living space today and be ruthless in getting rid of ALL the stuff you don’t need. Every single bit of it. Go through closets, bedrooms, shelves, storage rooms, even your home office and ask yourself the following questions for each item: Do I really need this? Do I even want it anymore? If yes, keep it and love it. If no, kick it to the curb by throwing it away, giving it away or recycling it.

I actually did this back in December of 2010 during my Christmas Break. I talked about it HERE and here. It was very cathartic.  I felt sooooo good after I dropped off my boxes at Goodwill.  I had keeps, give aways and toss piles.  I am still however going through papers =-( .  That project seems to be ongoing.  But I'm working on it.  So much of it is keeps and I don't want to lol.

Reset Day 18: spice up your love life

Exercise: Today’s challenge has two options: one for those who already have a partner and one for those who are single and looking for a partner.

Option 1: If you already have a partner or spouse, do something out of the ordinary. Do something you used to do when you first met or do something you’ve never done before.

Option 2: If you want to find a romantic partner, you can approach someone you already like or find attractive and ask for their phone number or ask them out on a date. Or, you can sign up for an online dating service.

My love life is full of flirtatious banter but nothing heavy or consistent.  It could be due to where I live, the types of men I surround myself with, or just me in general. I haven't ever been the dating type. So, how do I plan to ever get married then? I feel like it'll flow whenever its time. I get lude approaches from men wanting to do me, guessing game approaches from men too afraid to pursue me... But now like officially I'm centered on me.... Trying to really wholeheartedly work on me so I can be ready, in the right place when he finds me. I want to be able to appreciate the love he will have for me.  I thought about creating an online profile, but my heart wasn't in it.  I started laughing when I thought about doing it.  I wonder how serious I would be, or how scared I might be that I'd get that one psycho out there that's been waiting for someone. *side eye*  So, the idea isn't completely dead, it just definitely isn't going down right now. In the meantime, I'm enjoying me time and friendship building time.

Reset Day 17: Find a Good Therapist

Exercise: If you don’t yet have a therapist, find one. A good therapist will be someone you feel comfortable talking to. It also helps if their office is in close proximity to your home, work or school. It shouldn’t be a hassle for you to get there for your sessions and you certainly don’t need the additional stress.

It's going to take me a moment to actually get this done. Although I do like the idea, financially it's not an expense I want to create right now.  I have a degree in counseling so I do believe and know that there are great benefits to being able to go and without judgement let your mind go through spoken word. I've had counseling before, had to in order to be able to counsel others. I did do a search and I'll continue researching this as well as checking my insurance to see what or if anything can be covered and go from there.

Reset Day 16

 



Today’s assignment requires you to reflect on your learning and share in your fellow participants’ progress over the past week. Being able to compare and contrast your experiences and offer encouragement to others can be extremely useful as you move forward in your personal development journey!

Reflect

• What was the most important thing you learned about yourself this week? That I really can be stuck in my mindset.  Hence the Day 11 activity. I also realized there are a lot of things that I love and hated thought about.  I also have some issues that I can work on.


• What has been your favorite exercise so far? What did you like about it? My favorite exercise was the 100 things that make me happy. Wow that was so great.  It was hard to get the list going in the beginning... I got stuck at 25 then at 52.  Read some other people's list and realized that there were some things I loved but didn't think about the simple pleasures and then it just took off from there.


• Which exercise did you struggle with the most and why? Writing the eulogy.  Because I have my issues with death and this activity was almost completely skipped.  Will probably remain the hated exercise for this Reset.

The other parts of this activity ask that I comment and connect with others.  Connected with someone new whose doing her Reset as well via twitter a day or so ago, but will reach out to more and headed to make comments now via Happy Black Woman now.

 

Reset Day 15: write your eulogy

always up to and in to something, had a good heart,  personality made you love her and she gave love like it was a brand.. Her aura was like no other. And in the end as she wanted she lived a life that was pleasing to her Father.

Hated this exercise. And yes I said hate. This made me so  uncomfortable. I almost didn't do it. The biggest part is that it brings up the issue of death and that is always a subject that I mentally try to avoid. Because I don't understand it. I want to live forever and I want others to live forever.  But it isn't so.  And well... that's an issue for me.

Reset Day 14: The Perfect Day

I wake up at 5:00 and do yoga and then meditate and have my talk time with God. Afterwards I'm smiling to myself because my day is going to be full of energy and just wonderful. I turn on a Jill Scott and India arie mix and cook breakfast. Today I'm off- built in vacation time. I laugh at myself for not sleeping in. I don't have a set schedule today and I love that. I head to my gym and flirt a little before I preserve my sexy for 45 minutes. I make a list of what I want to do for my productivity hour when i return home and I set about doing it. I shower,I write poetry for fifteen minutes, scrapbook for 20 minutes, share and receive good news for 15 minutes, toss out excess papers for 10 minutes. Got to stay clutter free. I get back in the bed and look at the ceiling, pull out my iPad, read my feeds, then start reading a story I'd been reading until I decide I'm going to sleep for an hr or two. When I get up I dress and make sure I put on my Falsies mascara. I meet my friend at books a million where she and I peruse the aisles with no intent to purchase. No unnecessary purchases. Just love the ambiance. I ran into a student of mine and her parent and proceeded to love of her. My friend and I went to eat and I had cabbage. We talked about goals we had accomplished up to that point and it was great. It was dark when we parted, I went home showered with my lavender chamomile soap and then snuggled into my bed with an e-book until I fall asleep.

Happy 2 Years Natural To Me!

I still love it! lol... I was planning such a big post for this occassion but that changed. So, you'll get some snaps... Last vestiges of relaxer trimmed away on January 17, 2009 by my madre...

my first twists lol... they were so tiny...

fro

twists

getting bigger

me now...

Hair is like this right now, took down the updo and will take down the twists in the morning.... just an update.  I am still learning my hair, still experimenting with products, etc.  Did it before it became a "trend" but so glad I did. Enjoy!

Monday Morning Musings

Listening to Jill Scott Live In Paris...i heart her!

I really thought I was going to sleep in today... but I didn't. I couldn't actually.  Now, I'm waiting on my nail polish :Matte Grey Cement by Avon: to dry so I can be on with my doings for the day.  But yes, I thought I was going to sleep in. Had saw myself just in the bed lounging. But it wasn't to be. I woke up around 6:15 this a.m.  Nowhere to go today. I'm a teacher, it's a holiday today.  But between my financial musings of what I needed to do today, I paused and gave God thanks smiled and looked at the ceiling.  Read my feeds, searched some debt subjects, etc... until that seemed like it was overwhelming me.  I cooked breakfast: 2 egg whites and some grits... ate and seasoned my chicken so it could marinate for later... laid back down... no sleep.  So, around 10 something I realized it just wasn't meant to be. Yeah, took me that long.  My mind just wouldn't let me rest. Like I need to cook, make a budget, have a meeting, do some tossing out, make some posts today, exercise, do my hair and my mind was processing all those things like a scratched disc in my head this morning...

So, I'll address them in one post instead of making several:

Cooking: This week on my menu it's chicken: baked, barbecued, grilled with pasta, greens, and steamed vegetables. cereal, egg whites, oatmeal, tuna fish and water. I'm trying not to even do tea at home. It's hard. I won't lie.

I'm making two budgets today: Cut a definitely unnecessary expense this morning. One for February and half one for March.  Cause I need a budget. Have too much money that I've spent since november 2010 that I can't account for... so, I definitely have to change the system. Cause it's broke and it definitely needs to be fixed.

I have a sorority meeting today. I'm a member of Sigma Gamma Rho Sorority, Inc. and one of my jobs is serving as the Undergraduate Advisor, so I'll adorn that hat later today.

Do some tossing out.  I'll be working in my ZEN room today. It's my creative room, where I write, scrapbook, exercise, shoot lol just create. But I have an excess of paper in there... During my productivity hour today I'll be working in there.

Make some posts today: I'm behind on my 31 day reset... and I'm okay with this because well I've learned that life intervenes always and I let it lol, so I want to get caught up on those at some point today... I read the assignments just didn't make time to do them.

Exercise:  I'll be doing Taebo, or yoga today... possibly both. My gym is closed today. It's a holiday.  Anyway this brings me to something else :21 day yoga challenge: and well it just hasn't been going. Day 2 was my best day. I spent the week trying to see whether my meditation time should be in the morning or in the evening.  Also, a lot of the videos were definitely not for beginner yogis... But alas I've not given up on practice, because it was fun and a learning experience. Will be hitting it this week and revisited some vids from last week as well. I laughed at myself often.

And my hair... well that'll be another post....

Ciao!

Let Go

It's okay to let go



to let go of people that don't mean you well

people that drain you, that take and don't ever give

it's okay to let go

to let go of friendships that bear no fruit

the kind that only seem real to people

who don't know how to be a friend anyway

its okay to let go

of things that are weighing you down

it's okay to have less and still live a  full life

its okay to let go

of your image or labels you don't want to keep

it's okay to let go

of the past

cause it's surely gone

You Have To Forget What You Knew...

Heard that this morning at church and it just says much about where I am on so many levels. Why?  Basically, I'm having to drop old ways and take on new ways new habits. I'm seeing people differently. Heeding those warnings in my mind. I'm learning how to cook, so I can eat better, so I can make better choices.  I'm seeing food differently, because I just ate before, now it's about the purpose of the foods, how am I going to feel.  I ate cabbage, cornbread, baked chicken and yams at church today... Had a lot of greens cause I need that green... but it wasn't a lot and I didn't feel like I had stuffed myself, nor was I feeling sluggish and now that's important to me. Making sure I get some protein, the right amount of carbs, sugar and salt.  I'm also taking a different approach with my finances. Getting excited about paying off debts, Learning how to manage, save and, actually putting in to practice some of the ideas running rampant in my head. You may wonder what this has to do with Faith, well it's believing that my dealings with people will be better, because they can be better.  It's believing that even in those months where it seems I have more month than money, it isn't always that way and my needs will always be taken care of. It's believing that I'm doing good for my temple for my body even if that scale isn't showing it. I'm expecting some glitches, but it's going to work out good.  But alas, I'm taking these things ONE DAY AT A TIME.

Reset Day 13: 100 things that make me happy

1. Hugging my students in the morning 2. Air kissing my students in the evening

3. Reading essence magazine 4 reading a good book

5. Talking to my mama 6. Seeing my granddaddy

7. Hearing about the antics of my nephews 8. The smell of summer vanillas coconut on my skin

9. Hearing good news 10. Eating Hershey's chocolate

11 finding a handbag that speaks to me lol 12 reading better than by Leslie esdaile

13 reading blogs that provide brain food 14 flirting

15 laughing alone or with others 16 seeing big city lights

17 New York City  18 feeling the definition in my frame

19 photography 20. Hearing the Word

21. Going to church 22. Hearing good music

23 not feeling rushed 24 laying in the bed and reading

25. Smiling at inside jokes 26. Going commando sometimes

27. Teaching 28 learning

29. Growing 30. Getting my hands massaged

31. Getting my back scratched 32. Hearing peoples life journey

33. Sharing with others 34. Putting on Falsies mascara by maybelline

35. Going to the gym 36. manicures

37. Pedicures 38. Washing my hair

39. Love 40. Finding hair accessories

41. Sunsets 42. Sunrises

43. Riding in Malcolm (that's my Cadillac) 44. Having a clutter free apartment

45. Stimulating Conversation 46. Watching a good movie

47. Seeing/reading about people reaching a goal 48. Polishing my nails

49. bonuses 50. paying for things with cash

51. having good vibes 52 . getting things accomplished

53. my Ipad 54.  pineapples

55.  buying panties 56. big earrings

57. church convention 58.  nice hotel rooms

59. great mattresses 60. Whole Foods Store

61. live plays 62. Cabbage Greens

63. Soul music 64. my birthday

65. Big Holidays 66. snickers

67. skittles 68. No Sugar Added Apple Juice

69. Gospel music 70. good bras that lift "the girls"

71. my face 72. my shape

73. Cereal 74. Hugs

75. Sharing a smile 76. Curel lotion

77. Smelling good 78. Cookie Dough Ice Cream

79. dancing  80. long dresses that cover my feet

81. nail polish 82. bookstores

83. peach/pear pie 84. Raspberry sweet tea

85. reading my feeds 86. sweet potato pie

87. my hair 88. taking scenic pictures

89. going to new places 90. lavender chamomile vegetable soap

91. love stories 92. action movies

93. watching Transformers 1 94. trying something new and liking it

95. achieving yoga asanas 96. meditation

97. Singing 98. writing

99. Blogging 100. searching the net and finding great information

Took forever to finish, but it's done and I love it! This was definitely an accomplishment, harder than I thought it would be. Took longer than I thought it would.

Natural Hair: Big Twist Updo

Funny thing that this year I decided I wanted to try new hair styles as part of my Healthy Hair 2011 Challenge and just to give a spin on my tried and true twist that I LOVE to rock.  Well inspiration came from a lady named JenellyBean who has a great website Here with great hairstyle tutorials and a plethora of other information pertaining to natural hair health, products, etc. Yesterday while I was checking my feedler, This Big Two Strand Twist Updo Tutorial came and I just thought I needed to wash my hair and try it.

When I made it home from the gym, I washed my hair with KeraCare 1st lather Sulfate free shampoo

and the hydrating detangling shampoo and then used the Humecto Conditioner and put that under a plastic cap for 20 minutes or so. I put in the leave in and then proceded to style with the Creme Hairdress (trying something different on the twist- ends and hair been dry out in the winter cold) and I ended the night like this:

Which it's from this morning but you get the idea.  I then did my morning meditatio

n and prayed that regardless of how it came out I'd like it. Because I'm apprehensive with new styles.If, you're like me they don't always turn out the way you imagine in your mind and that can be a mood changer as far as how fly you might feel.  I did it and I love how it turned out and so did my coworkers and students liked the silver flower.  Which I find it surprising when people think i get my hair done by someone else. Nah, this all me boo, lol. Forgive the thrown together look of the pics.   So, this was definitely some motivation to keep trying to spice up the do.

Reset Day 12: Create a Vision Board

The Exercise: Today, we’re going to get even more visual with our goals and dreams by creating a vision board. A vision board is a powerful visualization tool that you can create as inspiration for your journey toward your ideal life. Some people refer to it as a “dream board.” No matter what you call it, it’s basically a collage of pictures and quotes that serve to remind you of your passion and purpose. But don’t worry, you don’t have to be an artist to make one!

Here's mine. This actually works wonderfully for me. I didn't do this today however. I actually created my board in December during my work Christmas Break.  Why? I had been looking at the chaos and disorder represented in the first one I made and decided I needed some  order, some focus to it. So, I gather some more magazines, construction paper, glue, scissors and proceeded to create this greatness thatyou see below.



It's crazy that this time when i did it, i was just so intuned with it. i didn't want to put things on there that wouldn't urge me to act, or remind me of what I'm seeking in my "evolution of me" actions lol.  And I fell in love with it. When I was done, I was at peace with it. It seemed purposeful. There was order, there was function and there was an internal sigh. :-)

Day 11: eliminating limiting beliefs

The one i chose is the I'm not good enough belief. While I picked a belief on the 11th I didn't post it. Didn't journal it. Why? Because I didn't want to do the whole exercise. I didn't want to sit for 45 minutes and listen to someone talk to me. Crazy I know. But that was me. In my mind I was just turning over the belief. I'd been thinking of eliminating other beliefs but I'm going with the program on this one. So, after I've watched the videos or completed it, I'll come back and express my thoughts.

So, I barely made it through 2 videos with the guy whose voice lacked presence. And I realized that "I'm not good enough" is not a belief that I have about myself, so it's not relevant. I think I'm important, not because I do just great things or have this great life, but because I'm here, I'm important.  The last limiting belief was mistakes and failures are bad and a while back, a few years ago, this was true, but I'm not at this place anymore.  Because I've started to take on this whole No Regrets mind frame. Does that mean other people will agree with my actions, no, but it's a choice I made. So, whatever the outcome, it's a learning experience.

And guess what this Reset is all about being honest with one's self and that's what I'm choosing today definitely on this.  I can however think of some other things I could work on eliminating.

Guilty as Charged

My crime: mindless munching, binging on sweets

I caught myself today. Became completely aware of my own antics. My own self-sabotaging ways. I was walking around my class during a transition period and I grabbed 3 of these cookies to the left... when something told me to check the calories... 2 cookies are 160 calories!!!!! WHAT!!! So, yes I immediately put 2 of the 3 back. I'd already bit into one. Which it's crazy because i brought a snack to work for this very reason.  For this very thing, I had cheerios in a small glass container that's small enough to fit in my purse.  So, yes I have to be very aware of what I'm eating during the day when I'm at work, especially when i find my jaws moving and I'm not even hungry.

Oddly enough I was doing okay during the day yesterday, cooking meals of substance, no mindless snacking, no wasted calories- that's my phrase for candy, sweets, etc.  When I made a trip to walmart I picked up not one but two 8 count fun size packs of snickers... and I ate them... all... yesterday... when I shouldn't have wasted 2 dollars on them in the first place. But I did. So, I'm feeling it today.  I felt them this morning when i began my 21 day yoga challenge. The challenge I was supposed to start yesterday but was exhausted from resting all day. Go figure. And a post is coming about that shortly.  I think I'll do a weekly post about the 3 week challenge.

Anyway, I read something yesterday that caught my attention a guy on a blog somewhere in cyberspace referred to himself as a selectarian... saying he's selective about what he puts in his mouth, his body.  And I like that, so much more than saying I'm a clean eater, or pollotarian, or pescetarian.   It's a mind game I know lol, but if that keeps my engine going, I'll take it.

So, I can't change what I've eaten already, but I'm aiming to stick to my planned snacks and meals for the rest of the day.

Reset day 10: bucket list

Bucket list: In this exercise we were given 6 months to live. That in itself brought up other issues of resistance in my mind, but that's neither here nor there. Here are the things I came up with for right now. I'm sure I can possibly add more, but here it is.

See Jill Scott in concert
Go to las vegas
Go back to new York for a week or two
Publish something
Learn how to cook
Attend my family reunion

Describe a recent Aha! moment. What sparked it?

My recent aha moment happened yesterday.  At 6:30 something... I've been working out for a year and some months at this point.  This can be daunting based on the fact that I haven't lost much weight at all.  I go to a boxing gym Mon-Thursday for roughly 40 minutes or more.  While others lose, i seem to stay the same. Sometimes I don't want to tell people I go to the gym, cause they give me the side eye. But I do go and I love it!   My aha moment was in the mental imagery i have of myself. When I think of myself smaller I realized I don't actually envision  myself smaller. Mentally I limit the change that can take place because i'm afraid.

Afraid of the unknown possibilities of being smaller, healthier and smaller. My personality is already "fresh to death" and getting better lol.  But mentally I block myself.

I'm scared people will "like" me more, not because of the authenticity of who I am, but because my weight has changed. I'm scared people will "think" I'm cuter/prettier, not because my inner light is beaming, but because my weight has changed. I'm scared people will "assume" I'm someone they want to get to know, not because my personality is already contagious lol, but because my weight has changed.

And that makes me afraid, but not afraid enough to not do what I'm trying to do.  So, after my aha moment of "what are you doing to yourself" happened, I've decided to just put on the big girl panties (not literally) and make the changes I need to, to get where I'm trying to go.  I'll be back to meal planning this week and experimenting with cooking once again... lol. Haven't decided if I want to catalog my food via photos or paper just yet... but that [food] is my nemesis... but I got this! I'm in it to win it!

Reset Day 9: do one thing

The criteria: Something you've been procrastinating on for a long time
Something that terrifies you the most
Something that inspires you the most

My one thing today was making contact with each of my older siblings. Our relationships are not the best. Due to me being me and them being them of course. So the goal is that in time our relationships will be better than they have ever been. Not saying we will be best of friends ( not a necessity) but there will be growth and more sharing and that's great.

31 Day Reset: Day 7, 8

Day 7: Write your ideal life narrative

I am living in Monroe, La. in a townhouse with a spacious kitchen and bathroom in the Garden District.  I read for an hour daily for pleasure.  I travel twice a year, once with immediate family to Valdosta, Ga in the summer and once with friends to other locations such as New York, Las Vegas, D.C., Orlando, Atlanta, Memphis but not limited to these in the fall. I have a grand time each time.  I attend my family reunion in May and I am in contact with my siblings weekly.  I make contact with long distance friends once a month at least.  I have random get togethers at my place or at a restaurant with close friends just to celebrate friendship.  I have a healthy, handsome romantic partner who is a complement to me.  Our union is dynamic.  We are supportive of each other in our life journeys.  I am an educator of the young.  I teach Kindergarten but reach the masses from pre-K to 5th grade.  I am a cheerleader for others lacking in self-esteem and confidence.  Empowering them to believe in themselves and their gifts.  I sing at special events at my church and engagements with a neo-soul vibe. I have written several best -selling educational books on educating kids within poverty as well as published a collaboration project of erotic short stories and poetry. I have an advanced degree in education.  I attend conferences to further my skills as a teacher. I attend professional developments that are pertinent to my work with 5 and 6 year olds. I participate in book studies that are of interest to me.  I take continuing education courses on whatever is of interest to me: yoga, photography, scrapbooking, etc. I attend several paid workshops during the year that support my income.  I am debt free,  with a great credit score.  I have started paying cash or using my debit card for everything.  My living fund accounts are abundant and growing: 6 month living, emergency and travel.   I am fit and healthy. I get yearly check-ups and I am wearing a size healthy 16. I eat clean and exercise four days out of the week. I participate in half marathons once a year and I am an avid at home practicing yogi. I start my day meditating and getting in line with God and I end my day in prayer.  It gives me balance throughout the day.  I am surrounded by positive thoughts, people and things.

Day 8: Reflect, Comment and Connect

• What was the most important thing you learned about yourself this week? That I needed to work on my routine. And actively make time to do each assignment.  To be honest with myself even when the mirror was showing me something I didn't like.


• What has been your favorite exercise so far? Making the mission statement was the best exercise to me.  I felt so empowered after I'd gotten it finished because it made these dreams seem that much more in reach.


• Which exercise did you struggle with the most and why? Seeing my values in action.  I didn't know what they looked like and it was hard to envision some with 3 actions.

Reset Day 6

In this post, I had to envision how I wanted the 7 core areas of my life to be. It was indeed a process. Hence the fact that I'm supposed to be on day 8 but such is life.  This brought out the force of my procrastination.  My tendency to put things off just until was very evident. Or it simply could be that these exercises are so detailed and in depth that its something that one has to really put "time" into. For one I have to be honest with myself while doing this for any true growth or change to come to fruition.  So, I'm taking my time so I can do it right.  I noticed with some of the areas I 'd come to, i'd stare at the white space on the page for a few minutes and my mind would run rampant and therefore I wouldn't write anything. I didn't know where to start, hadn't thought that deeply about the area and what i'm doing.  But i think my life map syncs in completely with my values and my mission statement and for that I'm extremely happy.

My map:

Reset Day 5

Values + Values in Action = Personal Mission Statement

After adding ranks and actions to my values I had to give myself a side eye. Doing the exercise made it real for me and show me how out of all the things I "say" I value it was hard to imagine what those things look like in action, because I wasn't doing it actively.  My mission statement is still sketchy. I'm sure I'll tweak it again as I feel the need to further reflect on my values.... and then again maybe not... sometimes that rough draft can be the best draft.

Whose That Lady...

I value authenticity in all areas of my life at whatever stage I am in, in my life. So, even as I am a broken ensemble right now, the pieces are coming together nicely for its intended purpose.  It is my desire to have a life led by God's will, that I be so in-tune with my inner self that I make decisions that are for the good of me and in order with my life purpose. I value learning, exploring new ideas, improving old ones, maintaining an honest self assessment of myself, laughing, smiling and sharing with others.  I have a deep love for good reads, awesome music, thought provoking prose and people's personal journeys.  I value achieving goals that I set for myself. I am a go-getta; I set a goal and make a realistic plan to get it done. I value beautiful, intense connections with family and friends. I therefore am choosing to make my whole self accessible to them but not at the sake of self.  I value my health and in knowing that it could be better in all aspects: emotional, mental, physical, nutritional, and spiritual I am doing what's necessary to make it so. I value doing work that I love. So, daily I strive to do the best that I can for those that need me. I value optimism in my surroundings so I'm filling my cup with it from conversations, blogs I subscribe to, the feel of my home when I enter and lounge about, to the places I frequent. It is my hope that in my life, I will inspire many people to pursue their dreams, to accomplish their goals, and to be their own before and after testimony.  Even when all these things  that I value aren't as I would like I'm reminded that everything is temporary and nothing is as complicated as I make it seem.

Random #7: Me and my hair

As part of the Healthy Hair in 2011 challenge via Moptopmaven's Blogspot, I had a few things to do for the 1st. Get a trim, get my set of products and tools together. I'd actually told my students before going to break that I'd get my hair straightened.  That was a thought that kept me going through the press and curl that took place.  But I was actually nervous as it got closer to the day I was supposed to have it done. Just nerves. What if my curls didn't come back... what if I sweated it out before it could even be seen by my students.  Having it pressed was actually to serve two purposes: I'd get a trim and I'd keep my word to my students. Compliments were aplenty. Some even that garnered a side eye from me. Mind you I still worked out, knew it'd blow that press out the window, but that's part of the committment to myself.  Some even went as far as sounding offended because I wasn't planning on keeping the curls. As far as I'm concerned they served there purpose. However, I came to the conclusion that the sistah with twists, rocking that extra natural, natural is more me now that the coiffed girl lol... But I make the styles work. Heavy in pics, below...





Right now my hair is in flat twist which I put moisturizer on before doing, which for day 6 I'll wear it out and see how it goes.

Reset Day 4

Part 1: Am I Currently Living Out My Values?

1. Having a relationship with God. 5


2. Doing things I enjoy: work and leisure 8


3. seeking growth and self- improvement when I need to. 7


4. Pushing myself hard when the need is there. 3


5. Really knowing the people in my inner circle. 6


6. Having a job that i love, job security and Stability 7


7. Taking care of my body : inner and outer 4


8. Being around family and friends 8


9. Treating people well 5


10. Having positive energy around me this includes self talk, people and my environments 4

 

Part 2: What Do My Values Look Like in Action?

Decided not to post this part of my answer

Reset Day 3

This exercise was hard because for a while I thought I didn't have any concrete values of my own, just ingrained things, things that'd be just taught to me.  Because I had a mind fog or something trying to put them in words. Here's my ten

"Reset 10" -

1. Having a relationship with God.


2. Doing things I enjoy: work and leisure seeking


3. growth and self- improvement when I need to.


4. Pushing myself hard when the need is there.


5. Really knowing the people in my inner circle.


6. Having a job that i love, job security and Stability


7. Taking care of my body : inner and outer


8. Being around family and friends


9. Treating people well


10. Having positive energy around me this includes self talk, people and my environments

Reset Day 2

Day 2: The purpose of this exercise is twofold: To force
you to own up to exactly what's lacking right now in your life. To
give you encouragement to build on what's already great about it.
To complete this exercise, you will conduct an honest assessment of
the seven specific areas of your life:

Lifestyle (satisfaction with
where you live/living environment, how you spend your leisure time
these days)

Love: - the area I live in. - the spaciousness of my
apartment. - the convenience of where I live to the places I need/
want to go. - being able to come and go as I please.

Hate: - my
kitchen in my apartment is small and outdated. -that I don't have a
house built to my specifications when I see paint colors or art
that I'd like in my space.

Work (satisfaction with where you work
right now, what you do to earn your living)

Love: - i'm a
kindergarten teacher and I LOVE it!!!!

Hate: - the feeling of
having so much put on me and so many expectations put on "my
babies" that I sometimes feel I can't just teach and have fun and
they can't just learn and enjoy. - that the parish gets paid less
than the city.

Education (satisfaction with your educational
attainment to date - college, vocational school and other learning
goals)

Love: - i had my masters at 25, was pursuing my plus 30 at
25 too. - the internship and college experiences. - my vocabulary
is extensive/ broad

Hate: -that I'm 27 and havent finished that
plus 30 - that I can't decide whether to pursue a ph.d/ Ed.d or not
- that my diction is not better than it is

Finances (the current
state of your budget/money management, salary, net worth,
debt-to-income ratio) Lawd!

Love: -God provided me with a job that
allows me to pay all my bills on time. - that I'm learning to make
better financial decisions. - that I only try to keep up with
myself, no joneses, smiths, etc.

Hate: - living check to check due
to poor financial choices back when. - that I don't save as much as
I should. - that I struggle on a budget lol.

Health (the current
state of your mental, physical and spiritual health - mind, body,
soul)

Love: - I'm alive, living - that I'm getting physically fit.
- that I can do for myself - that I'm in a state of transition -
that I keep a gratitude journal - that I go to a gym that i love
Hate: - that I don't faithfully have scheduled time for just me and
God. - my belly seems to do its own thing - that I overanalyze
small things to the point of irritating myself - that my weight
appears to be stagnant - I hate that my eating habits are poor and
in turn causes me to only maintain my weight and not lose any
pounds

Family (the quality of your relationships with family
members, siblings, children)

Love: - that my family is my family -
that family can be more than blood family. - that my siblings and I
are all different.

Hate: - that I don't get to see extended family
often - that there are some family members ive never met - that my
relationship with my siblings is shaky with some of them.

Relationships (the quality of your relationships with friends and
romantic partners)

Love: - the friends I have - the quality of
friendships I am a part of -my limited network of friends- the freedom of being single

Hate: not
having a love interest when I want to just talk, just discuss
things, and share our stories.
- being nervous or anxious approaching a guy when I like them

Reset Day 1

Step 1: Choose a Reset Notebook
I chose to create a journal on my maxjournal app for this challenge. Why? Well, I've compiled so much into this IPad so that it functions as a one way stop to keep me from cluttering my handbag with several notebooks as I have done in the past. The picture shows the cover of the journal.


Step 2: Choose a Personal Mantra

I have several statements I want to place here to keep them fresh on my mind.
- live. love. laugh.
- no matter what, you better strut.
-Mikhail Baryshnikov : "I do not try to dance better than anyone else. I only try to to dance better than myself."
- Philippians 4:6 (KJV)
Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.