Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Flow

Life was momentarily halted at the end of May for me with the death of a friend, the loss of an acquaintanceship staging itself as a friendship and then going through the dreaded coworkers stirring your name through any mud they can find to put you in.  It's hard losing people. It's hard losing friends. Especially when it's unexpected. But people serve different purposes in our lives and when it's done, it's done. Such as it were, I had to deal with that, and then move on.

I am not what people say about me. To the degree that however they feel about me or my actions is completely accurate, because it's not. An opinion is an opinion, we ourselves give truths to those things.  I get upset when people lie on me and try to disguise their intent. But then I had to be upset with me, for ignoring all the signs that were there. But it taught me that I'm lacking with my own Spirit of discernment. That I have to separate the areas of my life. It's not to say I can't have dual relationships. But I'll be very cautious with that from now on.

Also, for anyone whose grieved before, everyone grieves differently. So, think about it twice before you try to tell someone how they should when you don't know how they cope with loss or what loss means for them.  At my church convention last week, the topic of compassion was brought up several times and I'm just so aware of things now, that I think I didn't pay attention to before. Things that I just didn't address or take in to account when dealing with other people.

But I needed that week away from my regular routine. So, that I could unearth my own possibilities and the courage to create a new routine, reinvent myself and just go with the flow. I control only me.