Step 1: Acknowledgement
Go grab your reset notebook and write down all the things that you’re still holding onto from the past year (or even the past 30 years!). The timeframe is up to you. Your list should include bad experiences, failed relationships, arguments with friends and family, people who hurt you, situations you regret, jobs you got fired from, etc. If you want to go back more than a year, you can also include situations from your childhood, people you still have hold grudges against from high school, etc.
Step 2: Affirmation
For each item on your list, find a way to achieve closure, even if it is a small amount of relief. Think of an affirmation or personal mantra you can apply to the past event that will remove the painful or negative aspect of it and allow you to move on. You can either write them down in your notebook or say them out loud as you go down each item on the list.
Here is an example from my own life:
Past event: A painful breakup with a man that I thought would be my husband.
Affirmation: I’m glad things happened the way they did. When we broke up, I finally became committed to living an authentic life and pursuing what really made me happy. Thank you for letting me go. I can appreciate it now. I am grateful and free.
Step 3: Absolution
Now, you’re going to destroy your entire list. Tear the page(s) out of your notebook and do the following (and this is very important):
I did this. The best part of it was actually burning the list. Which I didn't go outside. I lit it up in my parents kitchen and then watched the process of paper burning. Saw how some of the flames were still reaching for any part they could catch to burn even after the paper had burned. I found that interesting too. Oddly when I wrote my list, I realized how good a year I had actually had. My list was quite short. I had four things on it. FOUR!!!
I was surprised that I hadn't put down that I'd ended a friendship with someone who I'd been friends with for years, that another fell through before it could really flourish into anything. I didn't even write about the strain in the relationship I had with my older sister. I was glad then. Glad to see that those things weren't an issue. That I'd left those things where they needed to be. Gone.
And the four that I wrote down...3 were dealing with men lol. The other my job. I had a stressful first full year teaching. It seemed everything I did was wrong and it was just rough dealings. So, I didn't enjoy what I did. But in August, that actually changed... I poured more love into what I do, into teaching and growing wonderfully bright children. And it was amazing. My 2nd full year has been my best teaching year so far and I love what I do, I love my "borrowed" little ones and they love me.
With the men, I realized that I gave too much energy to one and the other I didn't give hardly any to. But I wrote affirmations and burned those sinking ships. And it's been better dealings with both of those people since.