Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Today I...

Today I woke up in a storm of emotions. Serious gray clouds swarming. I wanted to just lay in the bed for a little while and just look at the ceiling.  This holiday season has brought with it a bit of seasonal depression.  A bit of lonliness as well as just this need to clear the clutter in my life.  Much of that inner.  Just letting go of what I've began to perceive as correct or incorrect behavior for myself.
Yet, even as I wanted to lay in bed this morning, I couldn't.  Because I'm a teacher and there were small faces waiting to see me.  Even though part of my angst this morning was the fact that nothing has been working with getting them to talk during the right times and not all the time.  I admit I had to be that funky teacher today. But I needed it to be different.

I prayed this morning and then sought out my prayer circle/ my sister circle.  Didn't have one til this morning. I was definitely in the throws of a complete and utter funk meltdown. I didn't like that by any means.  But the love that God allowed to flow back to me this morning was amazing. And I've just been thanking him since then. Even one of my coworkers did whole group with my kids this morning.  (I'm getting misty-eyed again).  But whew I needed the prayers, I needed the tears, I needed someone to understand this morning, I needed someone to let me vent, and I was granted all of that. 
I'm grateful
and blessed beyond measure.

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