The more I do...

The more I do,
the better I feel.


I at least think it's supposed to go that way. But as of late, I'm been kinda tired. Lol. Between work, the gym, classes and trying to keep up relationships internal, external and spiritual I'm feeling busted.  We have so much changing in the school systems right now that has me a little on edge, but what will be will be.

Yesterday, I had a small reminder to keep writing in my gratitude journal.  It is so easy to forget all the blessings, the beautitudes that take place around us everyday. And I want to show my appreciation for God's grace, for the goodness of people, for my own mess-ups, the things that make me smile. So, that I can in turn smile more.

12 in 2012 goal update:
I opened an account with the credit union, i bought a new mattress, I've saved some money, I'm current on all bills, I designed a t-shirt for fun, made a pound cake from scratch, paid off a loan, joined Anytime Fitness, bought food to actually cook at home so I can curb eating out and eating in the school cafeteria. I'm starting to blog more and comment more on others blogs.

Today...

Today has been easy flowing like yesterday.  Two a day work outs. I'll be out looking for a planner again in about 20 minutes.  But nothing pressing about the day. And I'm grateful for this kind of flow.  Having things I could do, but not feeling pressured at all to do them.  I'll be back to work in January, back in school in January, but I'm living now in this moment. Smiling on the inside even as I type this post.  The day has just been good.

Today I...

Today I woke up in a storm of emotions. Serious gray clouds swarming. I wanted to just lay in the bed for a little while and just look at the ceiling.  This holiday season has brought with it a bit of seasonal depression.  A bit of lonliness as well as just this need to clear the clutter in my life.  Much of that inner.  Just letting go of what I've began to perceive as correct or incorrect behavior for myself.
Yet, even as I wanted to lay in bed this morning, I couldn't.  Because I'm a teacher and there were small faces waiting to see me.  Even though part of my angst this morning was the fact that nothing has been working with getting them to talk during the right times and not all the time.  I admit I had to be that funky teacher today. But I needed it to be different.

I prayed this morning and then sought out my prayer circle/ my sister circle.  Didn't have one til this morning. I was definitely in the throws of a complete and utter funk meltdown. I didn't like that by any means.  But the love that God allowed to flow back to me this morning was amazing. And I've just been thanking him since then. Even one of my coworkers did whole group with my kids this morning.  (I'm getting misty-eyed again).  But whew I needed the prayers, I needed the tears, I needed someone to understand this morning, I needed someone to let me vent, and I was granted all of that. 
I'm grateful
and blessed beyond measure.